


Dante from Devil May Cry buys his nephew stuff from Toys R Us

by Monokuma42069



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Dante - Freeform, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-08-23
Updated: 2001-08-23
Packaged: 2020-02-10 01:18:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18649984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monokuma42069/pseuds/Monokuma42069
Summary: Okay, so I had this epic idea a while ago, I don't like remember it all that well but it was pretty awesome. You just have to trust me on this, okay? But this story is Dante from DMC (That's Devil May Cry, okay?) and he has to buy his nephew Nero a toy for his birthday, so he goes to Toys R Us. I know it's like closed and shit, but this is a part of the lore of Devil May Cry. It's directly tied into the no cell phones rule of the universe, don't tell me that place would be dead if cell phones ain't real. Anyways, the next thing I write is going to be the first comment I guess, just no gay shit. I'm not gay, but even if I was I wouldn't write homoerotic material, you dig? It's like, what's even the point of beating yo meat to anal sex? Fuck that.





	Dante from Devil May Cry buys his nephew stuff from Toys R Us

Darn. Dante done did it again, having to go buy stuff that wasn't pizza or expensive 8,000 dollar outfits that he wore to pizza. He just could not believe his little itty bitty baby nephew, Nero, was growing into the age of six, the little kid. The munchkin. There was only one revenue for his transaction of green for goods. Toys R Us, the great benevolence. He stepped through the pearly gates of the house of toy, looking mighty epic in a physical manner. "Bruh." He coolly says, turning sideways and rolling through the building in lock on, bowling through a toddler and getting it in aerial stunlock. Jump canceling off the young'un to reach the secret part of the store, collecting the blorb and maxing out his health finally. "What's a guy to buy for his nephew?" Dante speaks to himself, sifting through the latest and greatest of the Calls of Duty franchise. He was always more up for a game of Viva Pinata, that was more in his ball field. He took a chug from his pizza milkshake flask, tasting the nectar of actual anus. "Perhaps I may be of some awesome assistance." Dante looked over, only to see the Demi Fiend from Shin Megami Tensei - Nocturne standing there in a uniform for the store of Toys R Us. He looked very cool and blue, and also epic. "Wow, it's the main character of game! I can't believe such an unobvious comedy crossover would grace my homely search for the gold of youth." Dante puts his hands on his face and does the Home Alone face. "A true gift for the child would be a lifetime supply of pizza, special pizza from Little Caesar's. Little Caesar's pizza will make a wonderful gift for any child, male or female." The SMT guy says. "You're right, how could I have been a fool?!" Dante cawed. He did a stinger string to the door. But here's the part where there is no door! "What the damn?" Says Dante in an angry tone, getting really riled up now. "I can't believe I fucking fell for the classic trap, the original sin, the straight gaff!" He made a face. "I'm inside the infinite Ikea, what the hell?!" And then Dante fell down the stairs in Devil Trigger for three whole months.

The End


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